Pastoral Burnout, Help, Resources for Discouraged Pastors and Wives

the iphone app that improved my ability to concentrate

Jul 28th, 2010 by Charles Stone

One of the most precious commodities a pastor has is time. Ministry always beckons us to do more than time permits. I once heard a researcher state that most people have 35 hours of unfinished work ahead of them. However, if we use the time we have most effectively, we’ll become more fruitful for the Kingdom.

Preparing sermons, at least for senior pastors, is one of the most time consuming Kingdom commitments. Although I don’t preach every week, I still must prepare over 35 original messages each year. Each week I study 15-20 hours to prepare one sermon. That’s a good chunk of my week which requires concentration.

A year or so ago I purchased a $2.99 iPhone app that has proved invaluable to help me concentrate when I study. When I fully concentrate, I make much more progress than when my mind gets distracted.

That app, Ambiance, is a simple collection of natural (and man-made) sounds that I play on my iPhone through my headphones. In case you are wondering, I don’t make money on the sale of this app and I’m not connected in any way to the company.

The standard iPhone headphones work ok, but I purchased a pair of noise canceling headphones (Philips SBC HN060) that block out most ambient noise. You can purchase more expensive ones, but this set works great for me.

So when I study at Panera or MacDonalds ($1 cokes there) I plug in, play a repetitive waterfall or beach sound, and become totally oblivious to the people and sounds around me. My ability to concentrate skyrockets.

As Paul the Apostle wrote in Ephesians 5.16, … make every minute count. (CEV) This simple $2.99 purchase has helped me put that command into practice.

Related posts: How an iPad benefits pastors

Posted in technology | 1 Comment »

360 Degree Assessment-an invaluable tool for leadership growth

Jul 26th, 2010 by Charles Stone

Leaders need healthy feedback to lead well. An excellent process, a 360 assessment, has helped me grow in several areas.

Simply put, as the diagram pictures, a 360 assessment seeks input from your peers, your supervisor, your subordinates, and a few others.

I’ve had two 360’s done on me, one very extensive, and one very simple that I recommend to other pastors and spiritual leaders.

Recently, the simple assessment gave each of our staff pastors 1 to 3 growth areas on which to focus. One of mine was to make sure that when I talked to other leaders, I would put myself in their shoes and ask, “Would I feel loved at this moment.” I’m a task guy, and this simple learning has helped me focus more on building relationships.

Here’s the process we used in the simple 360 assessment.

I asked each pastor to give me the names of a few of their leaders who they’d want to receive constructive input.
I compiled this list and added a few more.
We sent three questions to each of these people and asked them to honesty answer the questions.
We kept them anonymous by sending the responses to one leader not on staff who compiled the responses.
I and one of our elders (a psychologist) compiled themes out of the responses. We also culled any hurtful comments or those that had no true bearing on leadership growth.
I met with each pastor and shared the themes we discovered (usually 1-3 areas on which to focus).
Each pastor then selected 2 people in his ministry orbit with whom he would share his growth areas and ask for regular accountability.

The end result? A way to address growth areas in a positive and proactive way.

Below you’ll find the email we sent to those we asked to evaluate.

Dear name,

As part of our annual review process we are collecting information about the potential and performance of our staff pastors. You are one of several chosen either by the pastor being evaluated or by me.

Would you please help by giving us your candid feedback, with truth and love, to the questions below?

The answers you give will not be presented verbatim to the pastor, nor will the pastor know who made any specific comment. The responses will be kept anonymous. After the responses are received (around six respondents per pastor) name (the psychologist) and I will group them into themes. Then I and one of the other elders will perform the annual review with that pastor along with a self-review each pastor will do on himself.

We want to serve our church with our best. I will also participate by having the pastors, elders, and deacons anonymously answer the same questions about me.

Here are the questions:

1. What’s going well under name’s leadership?
2. What’s not going well under name’s leadership?

3. What’s missing under name’s leadership?

Please respond with your answers to the email address below within the next five days. Name (the objective leader) will receive them and remove your name to keep them totally anonymous.

Healthy evaluation and feedback can become a tremendous tool to lift our leadership game. I encourage you to use a 360 assessment with your staff. It may feel a bit scary before it’s done. But if done well, you and your leaders will profit from the experience.

The Four Steps to Moral Failure for a Spiritual Leader

Jul 14th, 2010 by Charles Stone

I’m listening to a fascinating interview on Focus on the Family’s Pastor-to-Pastor series between HB London and Archibald Hart.

They’re discussing how depression from burnout can lead to loss of vision, loss of ideals, an “I don’t care attitude,” and potentially result in moral compromise.

Dr. Hart describes the progression of steps to moral failure using what he calls the four A’s.

Arrogance: I can do no wrong, I can handle life myself, I don’t need anyone
Adventurous addiction: I get taken with excitement and become energized with what I am doing
Aloneness: I become more at risk as I cut myself off from others
Adultery: I turn to sex as the only thing that gives me a kick that can make up for what I feel I have lost

Listening to these four A’s caused me to pause to make sure I don’t go down that path. Often pastors and other spiritual leaders slowly move down the path of moral compromise without realizing it. That’s why I wrote the book 5 Ministry Killers and How to Defeat Them. The small, sub-surface issues we don’t see can lead to devastation in our lives and ministry unless we pay attention to them. The book shows how to become aware of these ministry killers and what to do to kill them before they kill us.

You can download a free chapter here if you’d like to check it out first.

Posted in moral purity | 1 Comment »

Retro preaching for hi-tech pastors: why and how I used a flannelgraph

Jul 12th, 2010 by Charles Stone

I’m a techno geek … I stood in line for 5 hours to get the latest iPhone, I use a MacBookPro, I use an iPad on stage when I preach, I twitter, and I write a blog.

Our church is techno … we use video extensively, power point, YouVersion which allows people to follow the sermon on their mobile phone, and we’ve done texting feedback during services.

Yet, sometimes I feel like I’m drowning in too much technology.

Recently during our programming meeting, our creative director suggested that we use a different medium to help the sermon delivery…the old flannelgraph.

In case you’ve never heard of a flannelgraph, it was a Bible teaching technique extensively used many years ago. Sunday school teachers would prop up the flannelgraph on an easle (a large piece of cardboard with flannel on the outside) and as she taught us the Bible lesson that day, she’d stick cardboard images of people and Bible objects on the flannelgraph. The flannel on the back of the images would stick to the flannel on the board. Thus, the flannelgraph. Today the flannelgraph is being used quite extensively in areas around the world with illiterate populations.

This past Sunday we tried it. I taught from Ephesians 2 and 3 where Paul uses several word pictures. These metaphors made it easy to find and cut out images.

Here’s how it added to my teaching.

It was drastically different from how I usually teach. Its novelty helped the message stick.
It helped those familiar with the flannel graph feel a bit of nostalgia, which endeared them to the medium which enhanced the message.
It helped me easily remember the next point. I simply picked up the picture and stuck it on the board.
As I walked back to the board, it was easy to keep reviewing the main points when I referred back to the images.
It built interest as the people wondered what was next.
It helped visual learners stay more focused.

So, if you’d like mix things up a bit, give it a try. All it takes is a board (wood or foam core), some felt, and some pictures (I used velcro on the back to make them more sticky) and … PRESTO, you have a flannelgraph.

Although we still used powerpoint images on the screens so people could see the images in detail, I now have a new tool in my preaching toolbox.

Posted in Preaching, technology | No Comments »

4 Ways Pastors can Maximize Before and After Service Times

Jul 6th, 2010 by Charles Stone

I’ve been in full-time vocational ministry nearly 30 years and used to think that the most important use of my time was preaching the message. I still believe that, especially for the masses, but perhaps the second most important time is what I do right before the service and right after the service.

I call it the “ministry of presence.” My high visibility as I chat with people, shake their hands, and give them a listening ear provides a tiny “one-on-one” window into their hearts. I believe those brief interactions often affect them more than the sermon itself.

Here are four simple choices to maximize that time.

Look for the “deer-in-the-headlights” look. This look often telegraphs new people. I look at peoples’ eyes and I can usually catch their “I’m new here and have no idea what to do or where to go.” I will introduce myself and try to make them feel that I really care. A touch like that from a pastor can make a profound impact on a new person.
Seek out those in wheelchairs, those with canes, or those with other physical or mental challenges. One guy, Robin, comes to our service in a motorized wheelchair. A mobile ventilator attached to his wheelchair keeps him alive. Another boy, Nicholas, is confined to his wheelchair. He is twelve. One older teen walks with a bent body and slurs her words when she talks. I don’t let a service go by without talking, touching, and affirming them.
Give your full attention to people when you do talk to them. Avoid the, “talking to one person while you are getting ready to talk to the next person” persona. People quickly sense half-hearted listeners.
Finally, steer clear of the monopolizers. This may sound harsh, but some people will take your entire time before and after a service as they talk about themselves or some problem. I will often walk up a different aisle so as to avoid getting cornered by a monopolizer.

These simple practices have made many powerful spiritual deposits in others as I offer them my “ministry of presence.”

Try out these ideas this month and see if you, too, feel God’s pleasure.

Posted in church, compassion, ministry, pastors | No Comments »

Leaders who Rush: what I learned today from the blind and broken

Jun 23rd, 2010 by Charles Stone

Jules Bastien-Lepage: The Blind Beggar

Two experiences this morning caused me to pause not only my body, but my leader’s mind that seems to always churn, thinking about the next project or task.

This first occurred at a local diner as I ate breakfast with a friend. The both I choose gave me a view of the exterior entrance to the diner. Out of my peripheral vision, I noticed a middle-aged man walk up to the glass door. Nothing odd there…until he reached for the door handle. He missed it, by about a foot. For about fifteen seconds he kept fumbling with his right hand to find the handle. I thought that a bit odd at first. He finally opened the door. The view from where I sat also allowed me to see the inside entrance. As he walked in, the waitress spoke to him. Then she gently held his arm and directed him to a table. He was almost blind.

In an instant I felt both compassion toward this man and gratefulness for my vision.

When I arrived at the office an hour later, the second experience forced me again to push the mental pause button.

The older daughter of one of our admin staff takes care of a young boy confined to a wheelchair. His body is broken, he can’t speak, he drools, but his mind remains intact. She had left him alone in his wheelchair a few moments to go into our conference room. I stood at the end of the hall and noticed him alone. I walked up to him, patted him on the head and shoulder and said something like, “You’re a bit wet. That rain is a mess out there.” As drool slid off his lips, he responded was a loud grunt, the best his body would allow him to articulate.

As I reflect on these two experiences, I was reminded of a concept that Phil Yancey, the great author, described as ‘time between time.’ He explains that he tries to discipline himself to mentally pause between each day’s activity to reflect over what he just experienced and to prepare his heart for what comes next.

My encounter with a blind man and a boy with a broken body reminded me of those moments in time, the ‘time between time,’ that are often pregnant with meaning.

Leaders are always looking ahead for the next hill to climb. But sometimes, we must pause and make ourselves fully present in the moment so we don’t miss God’s subtle, but important lessons.

How Church Leaders can Mobilize their Churches for Community Ministry

Jun 21st, 2010 by Charles Stone

Some of the kids in Operation Helping Hands

It’s exciting to see many churches embracing community and missional ministry more than ever. When I grew up, I can’t remember being challenged to go out into my community to be the hands and feet of Jesus to the poor and under-resourced. Perhaps that’s why it took me so long to personally ‘get it.’

The church where I now serve really ‘gets it.’ We are a church with a weekly attendance around 1,200 and after an intentional effort the last four years to become more missional, we’ve seen this fruit.

last year we gave more money to missional causes than we ever gave in a year’s time
1500 participated in some way in local missional efforts, many multiple times
100 went on a short-term missions project overseas
we just completed our annual Helping Hands project in the community and nearly 500 people from four different churches served

We even coined a term that has helped capture the spirit of our church: serving the Least, the Last, and the Lost.

So, what have we learned and what are some principles to keep in mind if you want your church to become more missional?

Find a champion. One of our pastors had a vision 10 years ago for us to become more missional. He has persisted for those 10 years.
Build missional ministry into your annual church objectives.
Keep the vision before the church often. Repeat it in messages. Encourage small groups to do missional projects together. Celebrate victories and tell lots of stories.
Offer multiple, small steps for your church. Stay persistent and don’t look for just one big thing to comprise the extent of your community ministry, although a big event can catalyze your church.
Develop partners. Find local city our community agencies that need help and offer to help them. We’ve worked with over a dozen city agencies, the local United Way, the city of Aurora, IL and several other churches.

"Volunteer of the Year" Award

Persistance will pay off. This year our church actually won the community “Volunteer of the Year” award from the local United Way. We didn’t apply for it in any way. Rather, the committee that makes those choices had seen our extensive work in the community and made the decision.

So, as you lead your church, consider how to be Jesus’ hands and feet in the community.

Some great resources:

Ed Stetzer’s book, Breaking the Missional Code.
Rick Rusaw’s book, The Externally Focused Church.

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My Review of the student devotional: Crash Course by Daniel Darling

Jun 18th, 2010 by Charles Stone

Although my kids are well beyond the teen years, I wish I could have given them this devotional when they were kids.

Daniel Darling, a friend of mind, provided me a complementary copy of his new book called, Crash Course, forming a faith foundation for life.

Although written for the teen in mind, I was encouraged and learned a lot through the short two page devotionals. Each devotional includes a short story or insight on a particular subject. Daniel then includes a ‘Bottom Line’ statement that encapsulates the major theme. His ‘Own It’ suggestion includes a small, but doable project from reading a passage to watching a movie that reinforces the theme. He also adds a simple prayer and a verse of the day.

In 100 days, the reader will understand what it means to be a follower of Christ in these five areas.

Doctrine-knowing what you believe and why
Decisions-how to make good choices
Direction-what should I do with my life?
Devotion-Staying true in a world of lies
Delight-finding joy in a hard world

I highly encourage parents and student leaders to get a box of these books and get them in the hands of teens.

Daniel also wrote Teen People of the Bible.

PS-his website is one of the coolest, cleanest I’ve ever seen.

Posted in book reviews | 1 Comment »

3 Simple Questions when Leading ‘in the moment’

Jun 16th, 2010 by Charles Stone

Sometimes we can view leadership as simply big-picture, long-term, and strategic, especially if we lead organizations such as a church or a non-profit.

I’ve learned, however, that how I treat one-on-one encounters with leaders can impact the leader and the organization often in greater ways than my big-picture leadership.

Here are three questions to silently ask ourselves when with another leader.

If I were in his/her shoes, would this leader feel loved?
What does this leader need from me now and how can I meet it?
What is God doing in this person’s life and how does He want me to help?

Perhaps these questions are ways to live out the maxim, “people don’t care how much you know until they know how much you care.”

Do you silently ask yourself any questions that help you one-on-one lead?

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Why Pastors are Sometimes Like Turtles

Jun 15th, 2010 by Charles Stone

Recently Leadership Network asked 40 pastors (including the likes of Wayne Cordeiro and Elmer Towns) to explain in 6 minutes what they wish they had done differently in ministry. They held an online conference called SAGE.

As one of the speakers, I spoke on why I wish I was less like a turtle.

You can read an article that Leadership Journal posted, Animal Instincts, taken from my book 5 Ministry Killers and How to Defeat Them that unpacks this concept in more detail.

Do your ever find yourself responding like this to ministry’s challenges?